


Don't Let Go

by ms_archer17



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Kalex, Memory Loss, UA
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-15
Updated: 2017-01-15
Packaged: 2018-09-08 18:10:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8855734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ms_archer17/pseuds/ms_archer17
Summary: "I was too late, Alex," the blonde woman in the blue and red suit sighed. "I was too slow and I almost got you killed." Alex eyed the stranger cautiously. "Who- just who are you?" 
A Kalex AU.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So I recently got into this awesome show. And I couldn't resist but be captivated by the astounding chemistry between Kara and Alex. Sorry not sorry. If Kalex is not your cup of tea, please leave us be. We're just trying to have fun here being able to ship who we want to ship.
> 
> This one's for [superpuppy](http://superpuppy.tumblr.com) on tumblr, because you're SUPER awesome! heh pun heh.
> 
> I love hearing from my readers so please feel free to let me know what you think. I hope you enjoy it! More chapters to come soon!

* * *

 

The first thing Alex was made aware of were a series of beeps seemingly coming from some sort of medical monitors near her. Next came a massive headache when she tried to open her eyes a little too abruptly. _Slowly._

Flexing her fingers and wrist, she felt a foreign presence on her right hand. The squeezing only tightened as she tried to let go of whatever warmth was present there. She would have to make do with her left one for now. Slowly, Alex brought a hand to her head and wasn't surprised to the feel of a bandage on her left temple. She groaned as she tried to sit up.

"Director, please lie back down," a familiar voice softly echoed beside her as a cold hand pressed on her left shoulder.

"Dr. Hamilton, please tell me what the hell happened?" Alex hissed and pointedly ignores the Doctor's remark.

"Director, we need to make assessments about your condition first," Dr. Hamilton's voice boomed from the other side where the agent assumed she was inputting all her notes.

Alex was all too aware of the warm pressure that was still on her right hand. It was pleasant, she wasn't going to deny that. But when all she could see was darkness, it made her suspicious. _Let's try that again._

She was assaulted with a barrage of blurs of colors and outlines of objects she could not decipher. To her right was a blob of red, blue and yellow? _Is that a person?_

"Director-"

"I am not your director, Doctor!" the agent barked. The headache felt even worse that before and Alex was forced to close her eyes once more. The warm presence on her right hand spread to her wrist and Alex fought to focus on it as to calm down.

"Alex," Dr. Hamilton started. "I need you to state your name, where you think you are, your current job description and today's date, please."

The agent sighed deeply. She knew that there was no reason to pour out all of her frustrations at Amelia. She, of all people, knew about the medical protocols that needed to be administered to a previously unconscious agent.

"I'm sorry, Doctor," she slowly gathered her thoughts. "Alex Danvers-" A quick disapproving sound from the doctor made her realize her error. "My name is Alexandra Danvers, and I'm currently at the DEO infirmary. I'm a DEO Agent and second-in-command to Director Henshaw, and today is February 18, 2012."

Two sets of soft gasps filled Alex's eardrums as soon as she finished her statement. A question from her lips was halted as the pain and extent of her injuries made themselves known. The agent was close to screaming in agony but the weight in her right hand was steadily becoming her anchor. Alex squeezed as hard as she could before murmurs from Dr. Hamilton returned to her left side and she could only make out 'regen meds', 'IV' and 'pass out' before she lost her awareness once more.

* * *

 

When Alex woke up the second time, the blur in her vision only lasted for a few seconds. A few blinks in and she was able to make out several figures in the room. Her headache was also less pronounced, she'd have to thank Dr. Hamilton for that later.

"Alex, how are you feeling?" J'onn deep voice soothed her as he approached the agent's bed immediately. "Amelia briefed us a little about your condition."

"Like I fell off a building." With a groan, the agent sat up. She was surprised to be on the receiving end of the martian's tight hug. Surely, she was missing something, right?

Over J'onn's shoulder, Alex observed the other people around. She knew half of them, but could not recognize the others. Major Lane and Agent Vasquez were in a deep conversation that involved a dark-haired guy who furiously typed on his tablet while he made sounds of affirmation at the orders being given by the ladies in front of him. _New IT guy?_

The agent directed her focus on a lone figure in the darker corner of the room. Perfectly curled blonde hair slightly obscured what Alex assessed to be a very pretty face, eyes downcast, and a frown etched on her beautiful features. Well-defined arms crossed over her chest as she leaned onto the wall behind her for support. The woman made quite a striking figure even if some sort of frustration was apparent in her stance. She donned a very flattering blue and red suit complete with a majestic cape, and with a skirt in lieu of pants, not unlike Superman's very own. Are they partners? Relatives perhaps? Does she have powers too? But what was she doing here instead of Metropolis?

The blonde stranger's thoughts were interrupted when Major Lane rested a hand on the woman's arm and a few words were exchanged. In a matter of seconds, Alex's gaze was help captive by watery blue eyes. Something about them felt so familiar to the agent. They must've met before somehow, _maybe?_

"I'm glad you're okay," J'onn stated in relief as he patted the brunette on the back one last time before pulling away. Alex sent her director a genuine smile before her attention got pulled away once more as Dr. Hamilton entered the room.

"Agent Danvers," the doctor nodded at the brunette then addressed the rest of the room. "Let's get started shall we?"

Alex was submitted to routine checks by the doctor that included a penlight that she swore was intended to blind her for a good half an hour, a cold stethoscope that was pressed unpleasantly into various parts of her chest and back, a few blood draws to be analyzed at the lab, a concussion test, a reflex test and a few other ones that the agent was never even aware of existed.

After the grueling tests, Dr. Hamilton retreated back and sat at her station to presumably analyze the results further. "All yours, Hank. Or... Lucy?"

"I'll do the honors, doctor." Major Lane made eye contact with Alex and took the doctor's previous spot on the agent's bedside. "Direc- Agent Danvers, what was the last thing you remember?"

The brunette sent a calculating look towards the Major. Lucy Lane seemed to be at ease with her, even friendly. Wasn't it just a few days ago that they were screaming at each other's faces about military testing being done at the DEO? Things were getting stranger by the minute.

Alex turned towards J'onn for assurance and a subtle nod from her director had her talking. "I was driving home after spending hours inspecting the material recovered from the fire at the City Hall. I haven't slept for almost 3 days, I was very tired and all I wanted was to rest. And after I reached the city, I blacked out. Did- did I get into a car accident?"

"Alex..." the Major hesitated to say more.

"Major Lane, I need answers." the brunette insisted. "I won't accept anything other than the truth."

Lucy Lane's eyes were full of determination when she made eye contact with the agent once more. Alex could see honesty and sympathy reflected in her green eyes. The major opened her lips...

"It was my fault." A sharp feminine voice cut in. "I was too late, Alex," the blonde woman in the blue and red suit sighed. "I was too slow and I almost got you killed."

Alex eyed the stranger cautiously. "Who- just who are you?"

A deafening silence filled the two women locked gazes with one another; one cautious, one pleading. Alex could almost swear that she saw pain and longing directed at her through the blonde's eyes. _But it just can't be, can it?_

Major Lane tenderly placed her hand over Alex's. Not the same warmth as she remembered when she first woke up but she herself was surprised when she didn't pull away.

"Alex," the major started. "The City Hall fire happened over 4 years ago."

The brunette agent's eyebrows furrowed in confusion but she stayed quiet. Her mind started racing... could it be?

The major glanced around the room before taking a deep steady breath. She tightened her hand around Alex and delivered the final blow.

"The last thing you remembered was years ago, Alex. You lost your memories of the past 4 years."

_No._

_It can't be._

Alex heard her monitors beeping faster, some of them sent out alarm signals. _Four years? How did that happen?_

She noticed Dr. Hamilton prepare to get up from her station and almost everyone in the room gravitated to her a little closer. The blonde woman was next to her in a blink of an eye. _So she does have powers._ But the brunette raised a hand that stopped the entire place from moving. She just needed a few moments.

The agent struggled to find a focal point. She needed to be grounded. She just needed something. Her mind wandered to her father, Jeremiah. Their days spent together in her childhood, the early science experiments, stargazing on the roof of the house, and his death. No, that's dangerous territory right now. Alex shook her head lightly and found herself craving that warmth that she held onto earlier. She counted backward from ten and she committed the pleasant feeling onto memory. The brunette opened her eyes and found J'onn to her left holding a newspaper.

He smiled at her kindly and handed her the journal. Alex knew that it was the proof she needed as she sought out the date.

 

_May 23, 2016_

_Supergirl Saves National City From Catastrophic Fate!_

 

A photograph. And there she was, the blonde in all her glory lifting part of a collapsed building where civilians can be seen exiting, grateful to be alive.

The brunette agent turned her attention to the blonde heroine once more. Supergirl looked defeated, battered and tired. Her eyes held grief Alex knew nothing of. Or perhaps she did, she just... forgot.

"This is Supergirl, Director Danvers." J'onn's booming voice cut through the tension filling in between Alex and everyone. _Director?_ Was she really the new DEO Director? Why did J'onn leave? The former director gestured toward the blonde.

"It's nice to meet you again, Alex," rasped the heroine albeit almost painfully. Supergirl held out a hand that the agent didn't hesitate to grab.

All at once Alex felt a sense of calm upon contact with the blonde's hand. She was reminded of the pleasant pressure on her hand when she first came to. Was Supergirl there with her earlier? Surely not. Her memories were hazy at best and the medications were a tad too strong.

For the first time since setting her eyes on the heroine, Alex was a rewarded with a blinding genuine smile. There was no looking away from that. The brunette was captivated. Neither noticed the extended amount of time that their hands were clasped together.

"Uhm duty calls, Supergirl." the dark-haired guy raised his tablet for everyone to see the news footage of a big robbery at National City Bank.

The blonde heroine squeezed Alex's hand one final time before letting go. "I'll see you around, Alex."

With a final shaky smile, Supergirl was gone.

Adapting a commanding presence despite her injuries, Alex addressed the group. "I will be needing a debrief of everything that happened over the last four years. If I will be a convincing Director to everyone in this building, I need to know everything. Let's start."

Her announcement was met with hesitant nods. But she was sure that they will all follow through. This was going to be a truly challenging journey. But Alex was never known to be a quitter. Her father had always said that she's the strongest out of all of them. Then the strongest she shall be.

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to thank everyone for all the views, kudos and comments. I mean, wow! You guys are so amazing! All the more reasons to keep writing.
> 
> I'd also like to thank [femme--fandoms](http://femme--fandoms.tumblr.com) from Tumblr for her virtual cookie. I couldn't have started the chapter if not for it.
> 
> On with the kalex madness! I do hope you guys are enjoying it so far. Once again, more chapters to come.

* * *

 

Alex was finally allowed to leave the DEO facility after a week in the infirmary, lots of sleep, and a bunch of regeneration meds. Seeing her apartment looking similar to how she remembered leaving it almost made her feel at ease. And then her traitorous mind reminded her that 4 years had definitely passed and the short feeling of ease easily transitioned into suspicion.

Her apartment looked clean. Too clean. Alex knew the DEO would have maintained her place one way or another but her instincts keep telling her that some items were removed from the space. _Hmm._

The agent couldn't help but feel that despite all the information that her trusted team had given her, she was most definitely missing something. Something big. Something important. She dwelled on the feeling in the few weeks while she was healing and setting up her director persona on which J'onn gladly helped her with.

She had a lot of catching up to do.

* * *

 

An unexpected issue snatched Alex's attention a few weeks into healing. When the agent was banned from doing something too taxing, a strong limitation was ordered when Lucy Lane found Alex in the training room sparring with two new agents that resulted in almost tearing her abdominal stitches, Alex took up swimming as a form of cardio exercise. A strong lecture and an even stronger waterproof bandage from Dr. Hamilton was handed to the agent and Alex wasted no time and went straight to the pool.

Now, as a scientist, the brunette knew that chlorine would have an effect if combined with certain chemicals. And she was forever disappointed that swimming caps weren't water tight as her now shoulder-length hair kept soaking up the chlorinated water and washing it off was just an ordeal on its own.

That was when she started noticing the... issue. Immediately upon confirmation, she called her group for a small conference in her office.

* * *

 

Following Supergirl's once again successful mission against a low-level alien terrorizing the streets of National City, Alex headed to her office to find J'onn, Agent Lane, who Alex learned was her new second-in-command, Agent Vasquez, and Winn, the IT guy, already waiting for her. Their conversation stopped as soon as the director entered.

"Thank you for coming." Alex leaned back against her desk and crossed her arms. "I'll cut right to the chase. I think I gave you all plenty of time to tell me all I need to know regarding what I've forgotten." The director made sure to lock each and everyone in an extended stare. "And you all know you failed on one thing."

The dead silence that rang throughout her office spoke volumes to the brunette. Both Agent Lane and Agent Vasquez winced. Winn looked as pale as a sheet. J'onn, ever the calm one, gave nothing away.

She sighed deeply. "Was anyone ever going to tell me that I'm married?"

As expected, every single one of them avoided her gaze.

"Well?"

Winn raised a hand and gathered all his courage before mumbling. "I'm just going to do the stupid thing as ask, exactly how did you find that out?" He immediately leaned away from the brunette after finishing. _Was he always this scared of me?_

"It's a valid question, ma'am," Vasquez intoned. The director raised an eyebrow at her.

"Fine, I'll humor you," disclosed Alex. "I've taken up swimming under the watchful eye of Dr. Hamilton while healing. I would rather spar but someone just had to ruin my fun."

Agent Lane grunted, "Like I would just shut my mouth and not say anything. You chose me as your right hand for a reason, Alex. And this was one of them." The agent then waved her hand for Alex to continue.

"Sure, Lane," deadpanned the director. "Anyway, did you guys happen to know that chlorine and spray tan don't go well together?"

She smirked. The brunette got the exact reactions she was looking for, a choking Winn, Vasquez finding something interesting on the floor, Lucy scratching her head and J'onn with his fingers on the bridge of his nose.

"Let me guess," J'onn began. "The chlorine made the tan fade and now your ring finger has a pale spot."

Alex raised her left hand in affirmation, wiggling her fingers for emphasis. "Now here comes the hard part, who and where is my wife?"

"Alright, who wants to take this one?" Winn stood up. "I think they need me back now, I really have to finish-"

"Sit down," the former director commanded. "Alex, you know why we didn't tell you." J'onn strode closer to the brunette. "With your memory where it's at, we weren't sure how you would react to having a spouse. And in a way, it was also for her sake."

"Did she agree to this?" Frustration started to settle in.

"She didn't have a choice, Alex," J'onn confessed.

"You mean to say that you didn't give her one. And you can't give me her name because you don't want to risk me looking her up, right?" argued the brunette. She took a calming breath. "I'm sorry. I- I understand."

"No one asked for this to happen, Danvers." Lucy sent her a sympathetic smile. "For what it's worth, she's well-informed about your situation. She understands."

The brunette closed her eyes. Just what was her wife's opinion on this mess? How was she feeling? Was she currently deciding on leaving her? Just how much did she understand? _Where is she?_

"This is completely unfair to her," Alex started, her features hard. "I will give you 48 hours to have her here. I need to talk to her myself. I need to see her."

"Are you sure you're ready, ma'am?" queried Vasquez who was nervously wringing her hands together.

"Does it even matter?" the director almost shouted. "Get her here." A beat after, her features softened. "Please."

* * *

 

Alex decided that spending some time in the lab would distract her long enough from her current circumstance. A few hours in and she was rudely reminded that her muscles needed some stretching and some exercise. _Stupid back aches._

Following stopping by and checking in with Dr. Hamilton, Alex received the best news she's ever had in weeks, a lift on her ban to exert effort on overloading activities, and that includes sparring. The director left the doctor who was in the middle of talking and almost ran to get changed into her training clothes.

Walking along the hallways in her training uniform, Alex had never felt better. Did she still stop sparring altogether after being promoted? Where did she even train? Was she still involved in field missions?

Alex immediately stopped her musings as she noticed a huge crowd surrounding the training room. What is happening here? As she walked closer she could hear loud groups of cheer. The circle parted for her without effort. Being director has its perks.

There in the middle of the training room was the cause of everyone's excitement, Supergirl fighting against a regular human agent. _Was that Vasquez?_

"Welcome back to the pit, Director." Agent Lane appeared beside her seemingly out of nowhere. "You like what you see?" Lucy had the audacity to smirk.

The brunette wasn't entirely sure what she was supposed to be seeing. Did this happen regularly? Was she aware of this before?

Agent Lane chuckled beside her. "Yes, Alex. This happens every now and then and you definitely know about it."

Alex raised her eyebrows in surprise.

"I told you, you chose me for a reason," the agent wiggled her eyebrows teasingly. "And before you ask, Kryptonite emitters at 18%. Not enough to permanently harm our resident alien, but enough to make it a fair fight for us Earthlings."

The brunette placed her focus back on the ring in time to see Supergirl pin Agent Vasquez to the ground, resulting into Vasquez tapping out. Loud cheers rang throughout the area.

"Come on, Alex." Lucy grabbed the director's arm and tugged her towards the ring. "You look like you need a little practice on some hand-to-hand combat."

"Uhh. I'm not- Uhm," the brunette mumbled as she tried to free herself from the agent's strong grip.

"I have your next opponent here, Supergirl!" Agent Lane announced.

The noise instantly stopped. All eyes were on the blonde superhero and their director. _Why is there always dead silence whenever I'm involved?_

"Alex," the blonde gently smiled. "It's nice to see you again. Are you up for it?" Her blue eyes twinkled in mischief.

The brunette was known to never back down from a challenge. And despite her reluctance, she found herself muttering a confident, "Are you?" back at the heroine.

A collective and prolonged "Oooh" was produced by the crowd.

"Please don't kill each other." Agent Lane pleaded. "That's all I ask." She left to stand beside Vasquez.

"Ready when you are," voiced Supergirl as she took on a fighting stance.

Alex cracked her neck from side to side and assumed her own training posture. She raised her hands and beckoned the blonde towards her. "Come at me."

The heroine charged at her with a swing aimed at her head. The brunette easily dodged it and tripped the blonde over with her leg. Supergirl stumbled but righted herself quickly, eyebrows raised.

"You're not taking it easy on me now, are you?" teased the brunette.

"M- Maybe I am," stuttered Supergirl. "You just healed from an injury."

"How about you fight me fair and square, Supergirl," demanded Alex. "Let's see how super you really are." She smirked.

The blonde once again swung at her, this time aiming for her side. The director blocked it and aimed her own punch towards the blonde's head. Supergirl raised an elbow to absorb the blow and countered with a jab at Alex's stomach. The brunette inched away backward and was met with a swinging kick that almost connected with her shoulder. She ducked just in time to avoid it and slid across to the other side.

Several minutes in and neither one of the ladies seemed to be thinking about throwing in the towel. Lucy and Vasquez once again walked up to the ring a suggested a quick break for the fighters.

"You alright there, Danvers?" Agent Lane inquired. "You're all sweating up too. You could take off your sweater if you want. I'm sure you'll feel lighter. I can hold it for you." Lucy held out a hand.

Alex narrowed her eyes. Just what was Lane getting into?

The brunette snuck a look towards Supergirl. Still all smiles and her twinkling blue eyes directed at Alex. Agent Lane just might be onto something.

The director decided to tie her hair up to avoid getting it on her face. It still surprised her that her hair was now long enough to be tied back. Pulling the zipper of her sweater down, she could feel Lucy's smirk get even wider. She hardly ever trained with just her sports bra on with other people around from what she could remember but the situation seemed to call for it. The agent sent two thumbs up to Agent Vasquez, what Alex assumed was a go signal for her to get the blonde heroine ready for their fight once more.

As she handed her sweater to Lucy, Alex swore she heard a cry of 'That is so not fair' come from the blonde's corner but when she turned back, any evidence of it was nowhere to be found. Perhaps it was someone else.

"Are you ready?" taunted the brunette.

"Eh- Uh, yes," mumbled the blonde. Was she blushing?

The women circled each other slowly. Alex calculated her next move. Supergirl surged forward with another swing and the brunette ducked and hit the blonde with a jab on her back. The heroine swung the same arm back absentmindedly and the director took the quick moment of distraction and gripped the blonde's arm with both hands as she forced her weight on the superhero enough to finally pin her down. Alex straddled her quickly and forced an arm at Supergirl's chest while still keeping her other hand on the blonde's right arm.

The director was forced to stare at the blonde's eyes, her pupils blown. They were both breathing heavily. Everything seemed quiet even though Alex knew that the screams and cheers were louder than ever. Blue eyes drifted toward her lips, they look darker now than before, almost clouded. The brunette could only admire the beauty in them. Supergirl distractedly placed her free hand on the director's bare hip. The feeling of pure warmth spreading to her core wrenched Alex out of her thoughts.

"Do you yield?" asked the brunette breathily.

"Y-yes," husked the blonde.

A loud roar erupted in the training room as both Alex and Supergirl hurriedly righted themselves up. The brunette dusted invisible dirt on her training pants while the blonde tried to find flaws in her cape.

Lucy took mercy on the women and handed Alex back her sweater. "Great fight you two!"

"A- Uhm. Thank you for taking the time to train with me, Alex," Supergirl stammered. She started wringing her hands together. "I'll be a better opponent next time, I promise." She clinked her boots together as she gave Alex a one-sided grin. "You were great! Super even." The grin turned into a full one. Alex found her adorable.

"Thanks," the brunette smiled back. "I know you went easy on me."

"Supergirl," inserted Vasquez, breaking their bubble. "It's time."

"Oh!" yelled the blonde. "I really have to go." The heroine looked mournful.

"Bye Supergirl!" Lucy waved enthusiastically at the blonde. "Up, up and away!"

The heroine risked one last look at Alex who gave a small wave of her own, and in the blink of an eye, she was gone.

"You are a genius, Lane." The brunette placed her hands on her hips as she fixed the agent an amused stare. "Now I know why I chose you."

 

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My apologies for taking a bit longer than I expected. I'm currently battling the flu and I'm the middle of moving. Ugh.
> 
> I'd like to thank everyone for the kudos and comments. You guys are amazing! Also thanks to everyone who sent me virtual cookies. I really appreciate them. They keep me going. I like real cookies too, by the way.
> 
> Thanks to [superpuppy](http://superpuppy.tumblr.com) for the pic a few days ago. I just had to write that scene in!
> 
> Like always, more chapters to come! Long live Kalex! Here's my tumblr [ms-archer17](http://ms-archer17.tumblr.com) if you ever wanna drop a line :)
> 
> Enjoy!

 

* * *

 

The next two days passed by quickly for Alex. The unmistakable anxiety that was settled deep in her stomach kept on growing the closer she is to the promised moment when she would meet her wife. Was she truly ready to face the woman she supposedly fell in love with? What did she look like? How did they meet?

Alex scrubbed her face with a hand for the tenth time in the last half an hour. The situation wasn't ideal, that's for sure. But she knew she was the one who had to make the first move. Her poor wife must be beside herself worrying this entire time... or not. The brunette would never know until she met her in person.

The director groaned. How dare she be suspicious of the wife she had never met? She must've chosen this girl to spend the rest of her life with for a reason, right? And for all her understanding, patience and pain, the least Alex could do was meet with her. And who knows, she might just be the key to the brunette gaining her memories back.

The brunette scrubbed her face more vigorously this time.

"No matter how hard you do that, you know your face won't fade away, right?" a teasing voice chimed behind Alex. "You should. You're a doctor."

"Not that kind of doctor, Lane," the brunette sighed. She picked up a pen and jotted down almost forgotten thoughts.

"Hmm. Most of the time I get tired of addressing you as director." Lucy walked to her side, a tablet in hand. "Can I call you Doctor sometimes?" Her green eyes held nothing but mischief.

"Most of the time I get tired of seeing you around," the brunette teased but kept her eyes on her notes. "I wish I could put a stop to it and yet, here you are," Alex smirked. "So, the answer is no."

"I could strangle you," Agent Lane deadpanned.

"You're not tall enough," the brunette finally made eye contact and smiled innocently.

Lucy narrowed her eyes playfully at the director. They share a chuckle. The agent sobered up as soon as the tablet she was holding emitted a short beep. She took a moment to read the notification and released a breath. "Are you ready to meet our Mrs. Danvers?"

Alex's heart immediately jumped, her pulse skyrocketing. This was it. She had been waiting and dreading this moment for the past few days. The alcohol had certainly helped at night to put her to sleep. She wished she had some right now. No. Her wife wouldn't appreciate that at all. Her wife. Her wife was here in the same building as her. She was only but several feet away. Her hold on the pen slackened for a bit before she caught herself. But it was too late, Lucy saw.

"Alex," the agent placed her hand on the table close to the brunette's, being careful not to make contact. "Maybe we can just reschedule for another day. I'm sure she would understand-"

"I can't keep doing this to her, Lucy," the director croaked. "This is messed up. I have to see her."

Agent Lane nodded her head sympathetically and carefully placed a hand on the brunette's arm. "Let's take you to her, then." She gave Alex's arm a gentle squeeze and led them outside the lab.

* * *

 

The director was led towards one of the interrogation rooms. Of course, they would want to listen in on their conversation. For everyone's safety, they said. As if one of them would suddenly go on a violent rampage in a matter of minutes. Alex cursed herself for not setting up a meeting at her apartment or somewhere else private. But at the same time, she felt a bit of relief knowing her trusted people were behind the mirror ready to support her when necessary.

Agent Lane grabbed the door handle and stopped to glance at Alex's nervous form. "She's already inside. Are you absolutely sure you want to do this now, director? Tomorrow or any other day after is surely acceptable." The agent's face showed nothing but worry.

The brunette, not trusting her voice at the moment, nodded firmly. She had to do this. She had to.

The agent nodded back at her and turned the handle. "You give me a signal and I'll stop this immediately," Lucy affirmed, not giving any room for argument. She pulled the door open and motioned for Alex to enter.

Taking a final calming breath, the brunette stepped in.

The first thing Alex noticed is the sitting woman's blonde hair that was done up in a bun. Light blue eyes peek behind lenses encased in dark frames. A slight grin on her lips, the woman stood up as the brunette faintly heard the door shut behind her.

"Hi," the blonde greeted.

"Hello," Alex replied as she continued to observe the shorter woman. A white button up blouse under a baby pink cardigan completed the look with a pair of tight blue jeans.

"Please sit," the blonde once again peeped. She motioned to the seat in front of the brunette as she sat herself down.

The brunette followed the request quickly. Her attention was immediately turned towards the silver ring on the blonde's left finger. _Hmm._ Alex always thought she'd have gold rings for her wedding. Her wife must've wanted otherwise.

"How- How are you feeling?" her wife broke the ice once more.

"Much better," the brunette stated. "They took really good care of me here. Uhm..."

"I'm glad, Alex," the blonde smiled timidly.

God, this was awkward. But what else can you expect when you're meeting your wife for the first time after realizing that you don't remember her at all?

The woman in front of the director fiddled with the collar of her own shirt, scratching a bit at her neck. "I'm sorry I wasn't able to be here when..." the blonde motioned towards the brunette with her hand.

"You have absolutely nothing to apologize for," Alex reassured her wife as she held her gaze. "I'm the one who should be doing all the apologizing between us. I'm sorry that this happened. I'm sorry that I don't remember you or any of our times together. I- I'm trying really hard." Her vision started blurring. The tears that were coming were most certainly not welcome. "I was hoping that seeing you in person would jog some memories." The director shook her head and fought the tears. "Maybe next time, huh?" She smiled at her wife to try and lighten the situation.

"None of this is your fault, Alex," the blonde placed her left hand in front on the brunette. "Please don't blame yourself."

"I can't make any promises," teased the director lightly even though her emotions were in turmoil. She focused her eyes on her own hands on top of the table. If felt like there was too much happening at once. Her guilt, her anxiety upon meeting her wife, the frustration of losing her memories, the anger towards the world for putting this situation upon her, and lastly the sympathy towards her wife for being so compassionate and understanding throughout this entire mess.

She regarded the blonde's left hand as it moved closer to hers once more. "We can leave this as is for today, Alex," her wife tilted her head a little to the side. "I understand this may be too much for you."

All the brunette could do was nod. She really didn't want to be rude to her own wife, but for both their sakes, she had to end this now. In her periphery, she saw her wife stood up. Alex could only imagine the anguish and distress that the blonde might be going through. The director decided one action might just help them both.

Alex stood up slowly from her seat and took a few steps to the blonde. Her wife raised both eyebrows in surprise as the brunette slightly raised her arms, poised for a hug. The director released a breath of ease when the blonde stepped closer and wrapped her arms around Alex's waist. A clean scent was all Alex's mind could provide to describe how the woman in her arms smelled. The brunette slowly enveloped her arms around her wife's shoulders. The other woman tucked her head under Alex's chin. The director closed her eyes.

A headache immediately assaulted the brunette.

 

_"Have I told you how much I love the fact that you're shorter than me?"_

_A delightful feminine laugh rang throughout her ears._

 

Alex pulled away almost immediately, completely ignoring the pounding in her head. "I was right," she declared. "Being close to you would help me with my memories."

The director saw the panic on the blonde's blue eyes. Upon closer inspection, Alex noticed the green specks in them. It all suddenly made sense.

"Thank you for your efforts, Agent," the director asserted. Looking down at the blonde, she continued, "I know you were just following orders, but now I am giving you one."

The blonde's shoulders straightened instantly. She nodded.

"Give me my wife's name," commanded Alex.

The woman hesitantly looked towards the large mirror behind her. Meeting the director's steeled gaze, the blonde slouched in defeat.

"Kara, director," the agent stuttered. "Your wife's name is Kara."

 

 

 

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone who's still interested in this story! My apologies for the delay. I'm still suffering from a nasty flu, but I tried to at least get this chapter out. My apologies in advance for the mistakes, I wrote this all while on a 103F fever. 
> 
> I am overwhelmed by the responses for this lil idea. My sincerest thanks! I do hope you guys stick around for the upcoming chapters.
> 
> And oh, have you by any chance seen this Kalex video? Probably lol. I've only recently seen it but it was done so perfectly that I just have to share it with my fellow Kalex shippers. [Kara & Alex - Heartbeats](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2o6aik0tUzo)
> 
> Anyways, I do hope you enjoy this chapter. More to come!

* * *

 

 

Kara.

Kara.

Kara.

That was all that Alex's mind could focus on after the disastrous meeting with her pseudo-wife at the DEO. As soon as she got the name, she rushed out of the interrogation room straight to her office. She was thankful that no one in her team tried to initiate contact. The brunette really did not want to resort to physical violence to purge out her rage and frustration.

With orders to not let anyone disturb her for the rest of the day, Alex spent her remaining work hours repeating the memory in her mind. Her wife's melodious laugh was something she was sure she'd like to listen to over and over again. She can only imagine what it would be like to actually hear it in person.

She could only deduce that the DEO had spent the effort to find someone with the same features as her real wife. At least now, she had something to go on. Blonde hair, fair skin, blue eyes, wears glasses, and according to the small snippet of memory, taller than her and with a full hearty laugh. She hoped for more memories to resurface soon. _I wish._

Hours after a continuous effort to avoid almost everyone at the DEO, the director found herself back at her apartment. The temptation of drowning herself in alcohol was much too tempting when she stepped into her modest kitchen. Maybe.

A notification tone sounded from her phone at the coffee table where she had placed it. Alex immediately knew it was from someone from the DEO. She cursed herself for not turning it off, or at least for not blocking her 'trusted' team even for just a few hours. The brunette ran a hand through her hair. Ugh screw it, it might be an emergency.

Of course, she was right. A text from J'onn greeted her on the screen.

  
_'You can blame me if you want to. But I had to do something. I'm sorry, Alex.'_

  
The director glared at the message as she forcefully took a seat on the stiff sofa. Her fury only growing the more she stared at it. They had no right to do this to her. They had no right to do this to her wife.

Alex took a few calming breaths. How long it took her to actually be composed enough to respond, she would never know. But she knew she had to say something back. Because even after everything, this was J'onn, the man who took care of her like she was his own daughter.

  
_'I don't like being lied to. You know that.'_

  
The brunette dropped the phone beside her, knowing a reply was forthcoming. She sat forward and covered her face with both hands, resting her elbows on her knees. Was asking for the truth really that much?

  
_'I know. I'm sorry.'_

  
Another sigh of defeat left Alex's lips. Seconds before possibly permanently damaging her phone, and perhaps the wall, another text message came in.

  
_'No more lies, I promise. Here's the truth: I had to make a decision because Kara wasn't ready.'_

  
A sudden pang in the heart assaulted the brunette. Such simple words felt like a stab of hurt. It was like she was physically in pain and breathing suddenly required more effort than usual. Kara wasn't ready. Alex blamed herself once more. How selfish could she really be? Had she even considered any other feelings but her own? How could she not factor in her own wife's emotions before making a decision? How could she rule out the fact that maybe, just maybe, Kara might not be ready?

  
_'This is between the both of you, I understand. But I promise to reach out to your wife about meeting with you. I really am sorry, Alex.'_

  
A drop of liquid fell on the director's phone screen. Even with her vision blurring, it took Alex a few moments to realize that tears were falling from her eyes. _Crying. How pathetic, Danvers._

Without responding, the director stood up and tucked the phone into her back jean pocket. She headed to the kitchen once more. Alcohol sounded even more of a fantastic idea now more than ever. Rummaging through the cabinets, Alex found an unopened bottle of whiskey. Along with a glass and an unfinished bottle of red wine from the other night, she settled on a bar stool by the kitchen island.

The tears had long dried on her cheeks when the director chugged her first glass of wine. While delicious, it was too smooth for Alex's current tastes. Following another half a glass of red, the brunette opened the bottle of whiskey. She poured a generous amount in, the caramel-colored liquid taunting her to get lost in the feel of forgetting, the feel of being uninhibited, and the feel of... not feeling anything at all.

Alex gradually raised the glass to her lips. She inhaled the strong smell of alcohol and prepared herself for the imminent burn on her throat.

_THUD._

The director swiftly lowered the glass of untouched whiskey onto the counter and reached for her gun. She was quite sure that the noise came from her balcony. Was a robber seriously trying to get a big score from her apartment? The unit was on the top floor of the building. Why would anyone in their right mind use the platform entrance to steal from an apartment 12 floors up? _Hmm. Someone's trying to be a daredevil._

Alex carefully raised her gun as she quietly made her way towards the sliding doors that led to the balcony. The director gradually drew the curtain aside and a shadow was partially visible on the deck's flooring, an intruder was certainly on her property. A dull creaking sounded from outside once more. The brunette calculated a plan of attack and after a quick deep breath she firmly slid the glass door and pointed her gun at the invader.

Nothing could have prepared her for what she was currently seeing.

National City's resident Hero, in all her red and blue glory, on Alex's porch with a scrunched up face and a slight pout, desperately trying to put back a hook that looked to be roughly ripped off from the side of the building.

"I'll fix it, Alex," Supergirl started, keeping her attention on the dismantled facade. "I promise."

The brunette promptly dropped her gun, eyebrows furrowed and still confused as to why the heroine was currently on her balcony.

"I got it!" announced the heroine happily when the hook finally stayed in place after several attempts. The blonde faced the director, and armed with a small wave and a genuine smile she greeted her, "Hello, Alex."

"Uhh, Hi," mumbled the brunette. Alex slightly narrowed her eyes and gestured towards the blonde with a hand. "Should I even ask?"

The heroine raised both eyebrows in surprise. "Oh! Well, um-" she cleared her throat and continued with a shrug of her shoulders, "I was in the neighborhood?"

"Mhmm," sounded the brunette with a hand on her hip, the other still clutching a gun. "And you're breaking my property because?"

"I wasn't!" the heroine quickly denied. "It was uhh, it was a bird!"

"Must have been a really large bird."

"Did I say a bird?" the blonde mumbled. "I meant birds! Like, more than one." The superhero raised an index finger to drive the point home.

With an almost too-large grin adorning the blonde's face, Alex can't help but be amused and she let a chuckle escape from her lips. Feeling a little light-hearted, the brunette silently thanked whichever powers that may be for having Supergirl stumble upon her balcony tonight. It almost made her forget about her distress. Almost.

Alex sighed deeply. Remembering the gun in her hand, she briefly went inside to stash it away and pulled on a warm black sweater. Upon entering her balcony again, she observed the blonde heroine who had her head tilted upwards gazing at the dark night sky. There was something about the superhero that made her feel at ease almost immediately upon their first meeting.

"Do you want to know what I do when I want to feel better?" Supergirl faced Alex with a gentle smile.

"What makes you think that I-"

The blonde chuckled. "Let's just say it's one of my superpowers." The heroine took a step towards the brunette. "But I'll tell you anyway. I fly!" She bounced on her heels and pursed her lips. "So..."

Alex raised an eyebrow, confused.

The blonde walked closer to her with an outstretched hand. "Shall we?"

The director stepped back in surprise with raised hands. "Wait. You mean to tell me-"

"Uh huh."

"-that you want to take me flying-"

"Yup."

"-with you-"

"That is correct."

"-right now?"

The blonde nodded vigorously, still offering a hand to the hesitant brunette. She narrowed her eyes and Alex could see a mischievous twinkle in those blue orbs.

"Are you scared, Alexandra?"

"No!" denied the brunette almost instantly as she bristled at the use of her full name. She placed her hands on her hips in an attempt to look intimidating. With a glance back at the amused superhero, she concluded that it was certainly not working. But she had to stand by her actions. The director raised her chin in pride. "I was just-uhm concerned that there might be trouble in the city where you will be needed. I wouldn't want to waste your time over some nonsense." There. That should do it.

Supergirl laughed out loud. Of course, she would. "Don't worry," she dropped her previously outstretched hand. "If there's trouble, I will instantly know and we'll come back right away."

"Ready?" the blonde offered her hand to the brunette once more.

For the life of her, Alex didn't know what made her inch forward and trust the heroine but as soon as their hands brushed, she was reminded of that anchor when she first woke up after her accident. The warmth, the comfort, and the peace that a small touch can bring made her wonder what exactly was her past with the superhero.

The blonde gently tugged the director closer as she settled Alex's left hand on her right shoulder.

"Alex?" the heroine asked as she laid a hand on the director's hip. "I hope you don't mind, but we're going to have to be real um, close." Supergirl's face flushed. "You know? So-uh, so you don't fall- I mean, of course, I won't let that happen but your safety is my priority! I just- I just want to be sure you're, ahem, okay with that?"

Oh. Well, that really hadn't crossed Alex's mind at all. Of course, she would have to cling onto the superhero, she couldn't very well carry her on her back or lift her bridal style now, could she? The brunette's face heated up at the last thought. She met Supergirl's expectant gaze. "It's fine," the director cleared her suddenly dry throat. "Just tell me how to..." she trailed off and the blonde immediately went into action.

The hand that was on the director's hip slid around her waist as she was pulled impossibly closer to the superhero, almost every part of their bodies deliciously pressed together. Alex's breath hitched and she was quite sure her face was as red as the blonde's majestic cape. All she could do was try to avoid the blonde's stare as she tried to calm her nerves. Her gaze dropped to the heroine's neck where part of a thin gold chain was hanging. The rest of the necklace was tucked beneath the collar of the suit where presumably a pendant was hidden.

"Are you okay?" the blonde's concerned voice broke through Alex's thoughts as their eyes connected once more. Faces but away from each other, the brunette couldn't trust her voice to work properly, therefore, she decided the best strategy as of the moment was to just nod. Thankfully, Supergirl seemed to acknowledge that as enough of an answer to continue with her task.

Carefully, the blonde grabbed Alex's right hand and shifted it around her back over her cape. Supergirl then used the same hand to delicately press the director's head on her left shoulder and with a final whisper of, "Hold on to me," they ascended into the night sky.

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
